杂言吐槽 【一般区5周年征文活动】（未来）诚实预告：XCOM

[number]

 

 

[align=left]嘛～我也没有什么故事的灵感了

所以就把油管上一个挺有名的节目《诚实预告》系列其中关于XCOM的一集的剧本翻译成中文了

翻译的不是很好，欢迎吐槽～

就是这样～

——————————————————————————————————

 

[/align][align=left]在一个嗜杀成性的外星人大战危险特别行动小组的世界里，一名指挥官会崛起并通过一直存档读档的来带领人类走向胜利。（小声）嘘~你不这么做我也不会说出去的。（大声）XCOM[/align]

[align=left]当外星人入侵，整个星球都指望着XCOM计划，一支特别行动小组-用着淘汰下来的科技，http://i.imgur.com/9EYEkTV.jpg[/img]新兵全是夕阳红枪法，且预算少到你得像史上最危险的流浪汉一样乞求别人的投资http://i.imgur.com/G5MGksF.jpg[/img][/align][align=left]议会代表：非常遗憾，你近期的努力未能。。。[/align]http://i.imgur.com/RlL89nk.jpg[/img]

[align=left]嘛，这人声音蛮好听的[/align]

[align=left]在你游玩默认你上一部里团灭了的续篇前，再体验一遍你十几年来从来玩不好的系列。包含着那些需要你微观管理的游戏，那些你从没玩过的游戏，那些我们都当做不存在的游戏(X-COM: Enforcer)，还有那些证明了3A级策略游戏还能再战的游戏(XCOM: Enemy Unknown)。当然，嗯，一个一个来[/align]

[align=left]你将会诡异的依恋你的小队，在你把你的士兵自定义成你亲人与朋友后，然后在他们战死沙场后流下汉子的眼泪。 或者你也可以把你的士兵自定义成你前女友小明，然后在他用脸接了一发镭射时雀跃欢呼！现在谁玩了太多游戏了，小明？（叹气）我啦，还是我。[/align]

[align=left]渴望着令人血脉喷张的即时战略游戏吗？抱歉没有，因为XCOM注重于大把大把的浪费你的时间，把你的小队一寸一寸地挪过整个地图如一群重装婴儿在学爬行一样，然后瞬间因为打歪一发几乎必中的枪，或打出了最低伤害而再次读档，或者如果你在玩原版XCOM的话，往任何一个方向走一步。[/align]

[align=left]但除了完全不公平的回合制战斗外还有其他亮点。包括基地建设，http://i.imgur.com/81bfuFT.jpg[/img]帮你满足了你毕生的当一名工头的心愿 ，以及一款。。。呃。。。理论上存在的空中游戏。我真的从来没想到你能把一款UFO大战战斗机的游戏如过家家一样的无聊，然而他们真做到了。[/align]

[align=left]那么就享受着重复在XCOM上失败直到足够多的随机数字给你面子之后翻盘，然后倾泻你无尽的复仇火焰在外星人身上，威胁他们，折磨他们http://i.imgur.com/JXHpFSc.jpg[/img]，残杀他们http://i.imgur.com/aWQ5J7o.jpg[/img]，且通过被他们同化来通关。http://i.imgur.com/qekudFs.jpg[/img]（Uber Ethreal：你成功了，我们失败了）当然，就算你赢了，你还是输了。呵呵，可以的这很XCOM。[/align]

[align=left]领衔主演：Ayyy LMAO（Sectoid）（翻译表示跪了），魔界契约（Mutons），黑衣人（Thin Men），跳虫海（Chryssalids），愤怒的飞碟（Cyberdiscs），合金装备（Sectopods），范海伦(Dr. Vahlen)，陈蛋(Dr. Shen)，以及一个跟融化的牛油一样苏的声音。[/align]

[align=left]XCOMON这你都能打歪？！[/align]

[align=left]所以，当我为了付房租而卖掉那些外星人尸体时，是谁买的？[/align][align=left]————————————————————————

 

[/align][align=left]原文：In a world where killeraliens battle deadly special forces, one commander will rise to lead the humansto victory by constantly reloading a save file. Shhhh. I won't tell if youdon't. XCOM.[/align][align=left]When aliens invade, the entire planet is counting on theXCOM project, a strike force with crappy off-the-shelf technology, rookiesoldiers with the aim of a hypothermic Ray Charles, and such a tiny budget,you'll have to beg for funding like the world's deadliest hobo.[/align][align=left]Council Representative: It is unfortunate that your recent efforts have failed to...[/align][align=left]Hey, that guy sounds pretty cool.[/align][align=left]Before you play the sequel that just assumes you got yourass handed to you in the last game, relive the franchise you've sucked at fordecades, featuring the ones with all the micromanaging, the ones you neverplayed, the one we're all just gonna pretend doesn't exist (X-COM: Enforcer),and the one that proved AAA strategy games aren't dead (XCOM: Enemy Unknown).There's room for, like, one of them at a time.[/align][align=left]Get creepily attached to your squad as you customize yoursoldiers to look like your friends and family, then weep manly tears as they'rekilled on the field of battle. Or customize your soldiers to look like yourex-girlfriend Jessica, then cheer as she eats a laser with her stupid face! Nowwho plays too many video games, Jessica? (sighs) Me.It's still me.[/align][align=left]Do you crave pulse-pounding action and split-seconddecision-making? Play something else, because XCOM is all about taking yoursweet-ass time. Inch your team across the map like heavily-armed toddlerslearning how to crawl, then blow it all when you miss an almost-guaranteedchance to hit, or get a bad damage roll, or if you're playing the originalX-COM, take a single step in any direction.[/align][align=left]But there's more to XCOM than unfair turn-based combat.There's also base management, which lets you fulfill your lifelong dream ofbeing a construction foreman, and an air game that, uh...technically exists. (Interceptor engages in fight with UFO) Wow. Ididn't think you could make UFO-versus-jet-fighter dog fights boring, but theydid.[/align][align=left]So enjoy the sweet pain of losing at XCOM until therandom numbers break in your direction long enough to turn the tide, and youunleash a tabasco-drenched dick full of revenge on the alien menace, torturingthem, murdering them, and beating the game by more or less becoming them. (Uber Ethereal: You have succeeded where we havefailed.) Yep, even if you win the game, you still lose. Heh heh, XCOM, that isso you.[/align][align=left]Starring Ayyy LMAO (Sectoids), The Covenant (Mutons),Here Come the Men in Black (Thin Men), Zerg Rush (Chryssalids), Angry Frisbees(Cyberdiscs), Metal Gear (Sectopods), Vahl Halen (Dr. Vahlen), Egg Shen (Dr.Shen), and A Voice Like Melted Butter (Council Representative). Aw yeah,Commander.[/align][align=left]XCOME ON, HOW DID I MISS THAT?![/align][align=left]So when I sell these dead alien corpses to make my rentfor the month, who's buying 'em?[/align]

[align=left]视频地址：

[/align]

[number]

Samxia 发表于 2017-4-27 20:16

这是中英文对照啊，是楼主翻译的还是转的，不过这人名翻译的好奇怪啊。

你是说领衔主演部分吗？那是作者恶搞，把人物（怪物）改成了相似的东西

[number]

请问可以直接在这篇底下加上新的故事吗？